As some of you already know, i work as a "collector" for a shadowy umbrella corporation at an undisclosed location in Bolivia. So i spend my days seeking out people who "owe" money to the corporation. If i am unable to retrieve the money from the subject then i take something from them, or punish them. Usually people who owe the money are highly irresponsible, so i often find myself in less than desirable surroundings. Usually things unfold in a manner that approaches acceptable. But sometimes i find myself in some bizarre situations, and every once in a while someone threatens me physically. Last weekend was only the third time that has happened. Powell has been gracious enough to allow me to periodically rant about some of these occurences.
I was at this guys house (i mean, shitty trailer), to collect some money. First his asshole girlfriend/wife answered the door on the phone and acted really annoyed without every really saying anything. Then her dick boyfriend/husband came to the door. He was a stout and rough looking native with what could very well have been a knife scar across his forehead. Or it could have been a scar from falling down drunk (i'm making a statement about head scars, not natives). It's hard to tell about those things. He was rough looking though.
Anyway, i told him he needed to give me some money or i would have to take this electronic equipment from him that he had, but didn't own, and hadn't made a payment on in months. So we debated for a few minutes about the various options available to him. I give people three different avenues, usually, by which to hand over money. I'm thoughtfull that way (I mean it benefits me in the long run). Eventually, our meat head conversation revealed that the guy had no money, so i told him he'd have to give me the stuff. He went back inside and i waited for close to 10 minutes while i imagined him shuffling things around and disconnecting wires. It wasn't a fun wait because the little entryway attachment to the trailer that i was standing in reeked of cat piss and garbage. I stared at an old asian guy smoking a cigarrette across the street. He had nothing to do but watch me, so we just stared at each other for a while.
Finally the guy came back out without the equipment and asked again how little money he could get by with paying. He put his hands in his pockets as he did this, making me think he may have decided to go ahead and pay. Sometimes people will dissappear inside their homes for a long time having these long debates with each other, consisting of mostly clueless silence, about weather or not anyone has any money. I thougt this may have occured because it had been strangely silent in there. Then, after i re-iterated the minimum sum i could accept, he told me that he'd pay up next week, he wasn't going to give me the stuff, and he basically wasn't going to cooperate with me any more because "it wasn't a good time".
So i was pissed off. I been dealing with extra stupid people for a couple of hours that day and i was losing my patience. I said "You just made me stand here 10 minutes waiting for you to get me the equipment, and now you say you're not going to give it to me? What (the fuck) were you doing in there?".
At that moment the guy completely snapped. He didn't get in my face because we were already in each others face due to the entryway being so full of garbage and junk. He screamed "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET THE FUCK OUT NOWWW!"
Now, when someone tells you to get out of their house you pretty much have to do it. To not do so is to break a law of nature. To break a law of nature is to invite some serious out of control and/or unpredictable shit on your ass. So if people say that then i have to obey, although, legally, i do have the right to be on their property. Legality doesn't matter much once someone goes ballistic.
So i said "Allright," turned around and stepped onto the porch. The guy stomped towards me from behind but then slammed the door against me, hitting my foot. No big deal, even if that's the first time ever that i've actually been touched. I continued into the yard and turned around so i would be ready to intercept or dodge any flying axe that might be coming my way. The guy came out onto the porch and sceamed at me to never come back or he would fucking kill me. I told him i would indeed be back , one way or another. Then he screamed something unintelligible and slammed the fuck out his shitty door again.
When i've been threatened in the past i was actually pretty scared, and shaking with adrenaline for about an hour afterward, but this time i was just pissed off and sat in my truck for a few minutes fuming while i decided what i was going to do to the guy. When those kinds of things happen i have several options i can pursue, like calling the police, but it's usually not worth the time. I make far more money by just letting it go and moving on, even if it takes a lot of effort to do so.
Anyway, that guy really fucking pissed me off so that evening i looked his ass up. Court records in my area are available for public viewing on the internet. I was disappointed that he had never been convicted of anything substantial. He did have a long list of traffic and DUI convictions. So then i tried to google him. I did not find him specifically, but i found this other guy with the same last name, who has the same build (although chubbier) and looks like he could be related to the guy. Either he really is an Assassin, or he is a moron. I think he may actually be an assassin though, if he is related to the other psychopath. Maybe that is why i got threatened, becasue it is an entire family of Alaskan Assassins. I would recommend looking at that guys photos. They are typical of the kind of characters i have to deal with on a daily basis.
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